Haven: Journey's End

OOC: Potentially violent and graphic material to be included.

It has been along time since this particular messanger had arrived. It was often something that Cari was off doing something for Nathan, but this time, Glory Rashad would be visiting the Ranch while she was here. Glory was the widowed wife of Nathan's brother Devon. But this was not something Cari knew or she'd have made herself scarce during her visit, taking the children to see something or other in Cairhein.

The first meeting with Glory had gone off with out a hitch and things went well at dinner the following might, but Glory kept staring at Cari as if trying to remember something.

It wasn't until breakfast the following morning that the trouble happened. Glory was all ruffled and in having a hissy fit when Cari walked in. A pointed finger flew in Cari's direction. "She killed Dylan!"

Cari looked around at who was in the room. It seemed the entire ranch was there except the children. She sighed. "Dylan? Nathan's brother?"

Glory ran at Cari and grabbed her by the shoulders. "You killed my husband. You and your wench of a sister who thought to steal him away from me."

Cari was unsure what this woman was talking about. Through the hysterics of the woman it dawned on Cari what exactly had happened. Dylan Rashad was the man who was trying to kill Reana San, her biological sister, but had mistakenly encountered Matalina at the party she was suppose to be at. He lead her down an alley and that's where it all happened. His thugs had attacked and Cari, rather Matalina defended herself. "He tried to kill me first. I only defended myself."

Nathan spoke softly. "Cari, did you kill Dylan?"

"Yes.."

Nathan didn't allow Cari to finish. "You admit to killing my brother." In a rage Cari couldn't beleive she saw from Nathan he back handed her in the face, jarring Glory and she abruptly let go seeming to be satisfied that her husbands killer would soon be at the mercy of his family.

Cari tried to talk but every time she tried to say something Nathan hit her. It wasn't until Sara stopped him that Cari was allowed to finish what she was about to say. Cari didn't rub her aching jaw, it would only mean he'd hurt her and he'd enjoy knowing that. "Yes, I killed the man. He tried to kill me. It was in self defense, Nathan, and life time ago, long before I was a friend of yours." She meant friend as a darkfriend and he understood.

"You killed my brother and you are lying to me." He grabbed Cari by the arm and dragged her too a back room noone every used. It was a torture room that was left empty for now, but now it held Cari. He locked the door and Cari sighed this was not going to be easy to get through to Nathan.

Nathan returned with Demus and Glen in tow with an evil look on his face. "Your friend here, your own little assassin in training is to get the truth from you. Demus, you are to get the truth from her, and Glen you will oversee, to make sure he does his job well." And Nathan left, turning abruptly. "Demus if I find out you are gentle on this woman you will be out of a job here."

Cari sighed and waited for the door to close behind him, it was Demus' turn to react. What would he do?

Cari
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There were a number of problems with the immediate situation.

1) Cari, his teacher, his friend, his sometime lover and who knew what else, was to be tortured.
2) Demus was supposed to do it.
3) He believed her. When she'd claimed self-defense he had honestly believed her.
4) If he didn't torture her, they'd both be off the Ranch, and she would possibly be dead before Nathan realized his mistake.

He didn't want to think past 4. His brain was still stuck around 2. He took a deep breath as she looked at Cari, deciding to ignore the fact that Glen was there at all. He didn't like Glen anyway. Well, until today he never really had a thought one way or another, but today, he didn't like Glen. He didn't like Nathan either.

He ran a hand through his hair as he look at her, trying to figure out what to do. "There's only one way out of this for you that I can see." His voice was calm and quiet. "I don't think Nathan's gonna see his way through this, not without a lot of blood." He said. "Tell me the truth Cari. Tell me what happened."

He wished she had lied, wished she had done something cold blooded and heartless and something worth hurting her for. He just didn't believe it though. Burn him for a light blasted fool, but he wasn't sure what he'd do once it came to the blood.

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Cari was glad he was taking it calmly. Cari looked at Glen. He knew who she was and it wouldn't hurt if he knew but it wasn't that she was worried about, she didn't want Glen getting off on Demus' job nor the fact that there was alot more to be had from this little exercise. "I'll be outside, I won't be able to hear if she's screaming, but Nathan will want to see blood." And then Glen grinned broadly, "You my friend are in for a treat when you are done with her." Then Glen was gone.

Cari shook her head. "Don't listen to him."

Cari took a few steps that had left a gab between her and Demus and put her hand on his check. "The blood isn't going to bother me Demus, so don't worry about that, but I will speak the truth now, but you will have to do this either which way. Nathan is far more stubborn then either you or I." She smiled up at him. "I was in Cairhein with my second Aes Sedai. We were at the palace browsing the library as Browns like to do. We got an invitation to Dylan Rashad's party. My Aes Sedai forced me into a dress. Mind you dresses were highly unlike me back then so I wasn't happy to only have my daggers up my sleeves. We went to the party, Mr. Rashad approached me, mistaking me for someone else. Who I later found out was my biological sister. The two families were fueding and he was going to kill her. So when I showed up he thought I was her and he was friendly and full of joy until he asked me to take a walk. I nodded to my Aes Sedai and I left, I wouldn't be gone long, at the time I wasn't very interested in what a man wanted, and he'd probably end up sufficiently scared before trying again. He took me to a back alley where where three more thugs jumped out. Needless to say there was a fight, I won, the four men were dead by the end of it. I did not know the man, nor was I even a Darkfriend at the time, I had no reason to kill him. He was the first man I had ever killed."

She didn't really care if anyone beleived her but she was pretty sure Demus did from the look in his eyes. "There is the truth, and now I want to speak as your teacher. Not your friend, or even your lover, but as your teacher. If you will allow this to be a training session you will find it alot less stressful on your so far clean soul." She knew he was an assassin but torture was an altogether different sin, and one that would scar you if not done properly. Cari hoped that he would understand. He was going to get alot of revealing information in this round, she was sure he'd enjoy knowing more about her, even her tale revealed things he yet did not know. "Once you begin, we won't be able to talk so candidly, and I need you to know at least one thing before you start. May I be your teacher before you start and we'll both get through this alot easier."

Cari
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There was little to say really. He believed Cari and the story she told, but she they both knew Nathan wanted blood so he had better get it. If he sent someone else in to do it, who knew what would happen. At least Demus would be able to save her from what the others might do, permanent damage came to mind quickly.

Still, it amazed him that she was able to turn this into something else. At least with Glen gone she could. There would be blood aplenty and he wasn't entirely sure how he felt about that. He had always known it would come to this eventually and while he wasn't squeemish about it, he had hoped it would be a later rather than sooner. And certainly not on someone he liked.

He took a deep breath at Cari's last words and nodded. "You've yet to lead me astray with your teachings. I'll trust you in this too." He thought he should probably keep his mouth shut then, but the words were out of his mouth before he could stop it. "If I thought I could find another way out of this for you, I would."
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Cari smiled at Demus and kissed him gently on the cheek. "Don't worry about me Demus, I will enjoy this far more than you will." She didn't want to elborate, but it was the truth and meant to ease his ill will against this particular venue. She would enjoy it far more than he could ever imagine.

"Glen and I differ in philosphy of torture, but the end result is the same, we get our truths and our answers. But I beleive that you must take care of your mark, heal their wounds, feed them. A dead prisoner speaks to no one but the Great Lord, and he doesn't reveal to us what they have to say beyond the grave. There are salves and bandages for the worse of the things you can do."

She took a step back from Demus and looked up at him. "While lack of food is one way to torture I do not recomend combining it with physical abuse. The body needs energy or they will pass out on you. And sleeping marks tell no more tales than the dead do."

"Water is both good and bad, make sure they drink little, but not alot." Cari gave Demus an evil grin, "And water can be used for many other more devious things."

Cari turned from her friend and removed her clothes and stood where the chains were hanging from the ceiling. She was hardly modest and she smiled at Demus almost seductively. "Do not worry over my well being Demus. You will hurt me, and I will enjoy most of it. There is a fine line between pain and pleasure." Cari held her hands out to him. "Come now before you chicken out and Glen or Nathan come back in."

Cari
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Demus gave her a small laugh at her words. Lose his nerve? It was an odd combination of dread and excitement, fear and concern and exhileration that ran through him as he looked at Cari. He knew Cari wasn't all well, but he didn't care. At that moment, he thought he just might find out a bit more about his darling teacher.

He took a deep breath and thought about where to begin, looking at the implements of the trade. There was a lot to chose from and Nathan had apparently kept a nice stock of tool at hand just in case. They were well kept and clean, ready for use. He looked at the brands and iron rods and discarded the idea of them. He didn't like the scars that sort of tool left and while he thought his mind could wrap itself around the idea of what he was doing, he didn't want to stench of Cari's burning flesh to haunt him later.

An array of knives were set to one side also, but he pushed that aside even quicker than the other. He might be good with a balde between the ribs, but torture was another things entirely. He could do a lot of damage by accident that way and this was the type of lesson Cari might not survive if he didn't learn fast.

Something else caught his attention and he grinned as he reached his hand out to take it. A whip. He knew how to use this from younger days, though it had never been used against a person before. Still, he knew something about it's use and the damage it could inflict.

The whip felt good in his hand and he set it down as he went to Cari. "Might as well remove your shirt." He said. "No need to ruin perfectly good clothing in the name of training sessions." He said, trying to keep with the facade. While he might be intrigued in what he could learn, he was having trouble actually thinking about hurting Cari.

She complied with his wishes and as she turned around he strapped her wrists into place so she couldn't squirm too much. It would give her something to hold herself up with later as well, if need be. He ran a hand across the bare skin between her shoulder blades lightly but resisted the urge to say he was sorry. This wasn't his doing. Cari and Nathan had put themselves in this position and Demus was only doing what he had to in order to survive. And what he thought would be best on the woman he considered a friend.

The whip was back in his hand then and as it came down upon flesh he had to take a deep breath to keep from losing his stomach. He saw the ugly red forming on Cari's skin and he wanted to crawl our of his own skin. He closed his eyes then, remembering something else Cari had taught him. He formed the void, slowly building it around him, feeding everything he was feeling into the flame.

When the void was safe around him, he raised the whip again. "Now it truely begins." And with a voice that no longer sounded like his own, he began to question Cari to get the answers he already knew.

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The initial touch to her back made Cari shiver, Demus seemed to not want to ruin her, but it wouldn't matter in the end, he had to do it. The first whip cracked and Cari bit back the urge to make a sound, any sound. It hurt but it felt great at the same time. She wasn't going to freak Demus out by enjoying it too much. But then he spoke and Cari knew he'd assumed the void, she hoped it would help him get through this.

She wasn't sure how long the whip cracked and she answered the same questions. Her back was a bloody mess, she could feel the blood running down her back, and the smell brought other gory thoughts to her mind, that Shadow sat quietly in her mind, enjoying the blood loss but sad it was hers. But it was an odd feeling to have the Shadow at peace with Demus' action, as if he didn't blame him for hurting it. None of them did, but Cari was tiring of the same questions and the same answers and the next time he asked her she spoke calmly but negatively. "Ask something else, you know the truth, ask things you want to know. At least make it worth while on both of us and not boring." Her refusal to answer his question brought down a wrath of blows, he was getting good at it, but she hoped he'd listen and ask something else, Nathan wouldn't know and he was highly curious about her. Cari hated that he'd ask under these circumstances, but he may never have asked at all. He seemed to prefer to snoop around.

Cari
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Sanity only seemed to last as long as the whip cracked. The Void held steady, but as soon as the motion of the whip stopped, Demus's mind began racing over what was happening. Torturing someone for the sake or torture. There were no answers to be gained here, no truth that Nathan would get. Demus did it only because if he didn't both he and Cari would be in worse shape. The thought threatened to bring the Void craching down, so the whip cracked harder, forcing his focus.

"Ask something else, you know the truth, ask things you want to know. At least make it worth while on both of us and not boring."

The words came inbetween whip cracks. Without warning, his anger spiked and the Void came crashing down around him. He moved without though, only anger pushing him through his personal revulsion at having done damage to a friend. He quickly released one of her arms from the chain binding her and spun her around, pushing her hard against the wall. Blood covered his hand as he held her by the throat. "You'll answer what I ask Cari. Again and again until they decide your screams have been enough." He said, his voice hard, but full of emotions darker than most would have thought he posessed.

Demus Nolorean
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Cari tried not to make any sound as he pushed her against the wall. The marks on her back throbbed with pain and she could feel the coolness of the wall behind her through the heat, but she was hardly concerned and the look in Demus' eyes made her proud and slighty afraid.

Cari resisted the urge to return the favor now that she had a hand free. She let him choke her, and yell at her for speaking things he didn't want to hear. She tried not to smile, but she enjoyed this far too much and it didn't work. It wasn't a friendly smile nor was there any passion in it. Evil was more the word and if she could breathe and move Demus would not live long, but this wasn't about her and she reigned in her desires.

Cari closed her eyes and nodded the best she could. She wasn't sure what he wanted in reaction. She ached and she enjoyed the pain, he knew the answers and she hoped he'd change questions it was rather boring. But it was all his game now, his and his alone to play. Cari wondered when enough would be enough for Nathan...

*****

Time passed and a knock came at the door. Cari could hardly hear it from the blood rushing to her ears. The pain was no longer as pleasureable as it had been. When Demus answered the door Nathan walked in. "Well, I see you've done your job well but has she broke yet?"

Cari knew at that moment, this was going to last a long time if she didn't break. Cari had no intentions of breaking, she would end up dead. Nathan forgot that part of her training was to undergo torture to insure the Dark plans she carried from time to time would never be revealed. She would die before changing her story. Nathan should know that. Cari would have to do something else, and so the debates in her mind began, who would take the fall...

Cari
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"Well, I see you've done your job well but has she broke yet?"

Demus looked up at Nathan with a barely contained anger. He hated what he was doing to Cari, though he had meant it when he had said he would continue until Nathan had enough. The man's voice made Demus wonder if it would ever be enough. Of course, would there have ever been enough blood from the man he felt had killed his mother? If he had that man in this room now, would it be enough? He couldn't answer that but he also knew that this was a different circumstance.

"Do you expect her to break?" He asked, his voice foreign to him as he pulled the Void around him to contain the anger that built around him. "She is well trained to pain." He said, looking pointedly at the blood that pooled around their feet. "If you want her death, then kill her. Torture will not change her answer and though you don't care what I think, I believe her."

Demus Nolorean...
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Nathan looked upset at Demus words. "You think I won't?" With a quick movement Nathan was in front of Cari and blood was running down her left cheek. Cari's face ached from the back handed blow and his ring left a deep cut on her cheek. But that wasn't the end to what he did.

Nathan revealed a hidden dagger, one that Cari knew was there but had rarely seen. There was no fear in her eyes but she knew this wasn't going to end well. "Perhaps you are being too kind. I will help you get your answers." And Nathan drew the dagger across Cari's abdomen cutting into the cavity below the muscles. Cari bit back a scream but it still came out. There was only so much one could take.

Nathan reached in and pulled out a strand of her innards and again the pain and the mere thought of dying this way made Cari scream again. "Ask your questions, Demus. If she doesn't break then kill her. If she does, Nalia will be standing by to heal her so she can talk to us."

Cari
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He almost lost the void as Nathan began to cut into Cari but he closed his eyes and took a minute to pull it tightly around himself again. Cari's screams dug furrows in his mental barriers, trying to tear away at his walls, but he pushed it aside, kept his mind clear and emotionless as he looked over at the scene that Nathan had created.

"Cari, answer the questions. Nathan isn't going to let up or let you go to your death so easily. Answer. Why did you kill his brother? Who told you to?" The questions were back with the same monotony they had held before and he only hoped that Cari would lie to get out of this in one piece.

Demus Nolorean
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The same question yielded the same answer. "No one told me to, it was self defense." Cari looked at Nathan directly. "I don't know what you want to hear. If I killed him then you'll kill me. If I didn't kill him you'll kill me, seems like I have no choice in the matter so just kill me!"

Nathan didn't have time to react before Demus slapped Cari in the face. The same place Nathan had back handed her. Cari was sure it was to keep Nathan away from her. There was only a moment's hesitation as Demus pulled out more innards and Cari screamed. This was not pleasant nor was it any way to die. She could feel the blood draining from her and with it her strength. Demus asked again as Nathan turned around to leave yet again. Cari's answer was the same but with out the retort.

As Nathan reached the door Demus pulled again and instead of a scream tears flooded Cari's eyes and her head rolled back in pain. All the strength it took to keep her sanity in check floated away with the tears. It was like something punching a whole in her head and then ripping it's way out. Cari didn't scream she sobbed. "What do you want to hear, I'll say it, just tell me but stop this."

Nathan turned around to watch what was happening. Cari wasn't there anymore her mind was splintered and deep in the shadows of her mind. Still functioning and alive, but tired and in pain. The others watched silently as this new persona spoke and pleaded for their life. Demus had broken Cari, and they all wondered where that would lead.

Nathan approached Cari cautiously fearing a trick. "What was your given name?"

"Kayla San."

"What name did you choose?"

"Matalina."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't have one up to that point. I was always called baby or child."

Nathan nodded. "Who is Alex?"

Cari closed her eyes and tried to stop the tears from flowing, through the sobs she answered again. "Alex was the love of my life that you had killed."

"Why?"

"Because he knew I was a Darkfriend, and it was safest for the rest of you if he was gone."

Nathan smiled. "Do you know Dylan Rashad?"

"No, I didn't know him. I only met him once."

"Then why did you kill him?"

Cari opened her eyes, and with red rims and blood shot eyes Cari spoke the truth again. "He tried to kill me, I only defended myself."

"No one sent you?"

"No."

Nathan sighed and waved his hand. "Heal her and tend to her." Then left.

Nalia did as she was told, but she didn't heal Cari completely she left scars. It wasn't an order from Nathan, but more a respectful response to the things Cari would want. Nalia knew if Cari were in her right mind that she wouldn't have been allowed to heal her wounds. Nalia spoke softly to Demus. "Tend her well, if you have the will power after what you just did. She will need sleep, this healing has taken even more from her than you did."

OOC: Tend her, when she wakes up I'd like for them to have a little heart to heart if that's cool with you.

Cari
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Demus sat on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands, trying to think past the things he had just done. Cari rested in his bed behind him. He wasn't sure where the kids were or when they would be home so he figured it would be better to have her away from them whenever she woke. He didn't know what state of mind she'd be in when she began to stir and he didn't want her kids hurt by what he'd done.

He scrubbed his hands through his hair then propelled himself away from the bed. He was staying by her side until she woke, but he felt like he was going crazy. It had been easier before, easier in that room with the Void safely around him and the threat of her death looming over them. He had always known he was capable of dark things, but he had never thought he would be the kind of person to do it to someone he cared about.

She was going to hate him. He didn't have a choice anymore than she had but it didn't matter. She's hate him for what he had done and he wasn't sure he disagreed with her at the moment. He had tried to keep her alive, had done everything he could to give her enough pain to make Nathan happy and still keep her well, but in the end nothing was going to make Nathan happy except for Cari, broken. Kayla. Matalina. Cari. Whatever name she had, whatever name she chose, she was changed again and he didn't know enough about Cari and her problems to know how this was going change her as a whole.

After Nathan had left and Cari had been healed he had carried her back to his place and stripped her out of her blood soaked clothes. He'd tried to clean her up as best he could before putting her into bed. He cleaned himself up then and began his vigil, pacing when his emotions gave him the energy and sitting on the edge of the bed when emotional enhaustion had takn its toll on him.

He took a deep breath as he looked out the window of his small house on the Ranch. He'd come to think of this place as home, mostly because of Cari. He got along well with everyone else and he felt like he had been of some use, had grown to be a helping member of their community, but it was Cari that had brought him here and Cari that made him come back when he could just as easily have hit the road and never looked back.

He coninuted to stare out the window, trying to measure his life's path and wondered what road he would take, if Cari woke and asked him to leave.

Demus Nolorean

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Cari's dreams were drowning in confusion and pain and when she woke up in a strange place it nearly set her to panicing. She'd never been here, she was sure of it but Demus was close she could tell. She opened her eyes not knowing how well things would work. She didn't remember much after Nathan had started working on her. She didn't know what she'd said or why she still lived. Cari was surpised she could open her eyes and move.

Demus looked almost in as bad as shape as she felt. Cari had never been modest, but being naked right now was not a comforting thought, she pulled the blanket up as she sat and wrapped her arms around Demus waist and put her head on his shoulder. "Don't fret Demus, you did what needed doing. And I'm sorry I was the cause of it." She knew it wasn't much but she really couldn't offer him anything else. It was something he would have to work though. Cari wondered what she'd feel like after having done the same to one she cared for.

The rest of Cari's personaliaties stirred awake. A new frightening thought flew threw the edges of her mind. Demus was dangerous, Demus was going to hurt her. It took Cari several minutes to realize that there was now a new person in her mind, one that was terrified of Demus. Cari kissed Demus' neck before asking, "I broke didn't I?" Cari wanted to insure to Demus that she was not mad at him. He'd done his job, and if she broke he'd done it well.

Cari
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GRR:

Demus said she'd broken and was glad she'd showed up when she did. Cari told Demus she was proud of him and it made his day. Cari brought up the fact that she was naked in Demus' house with no clothes to return home in. Demus joked about taking advantage of her and Cari's newest personality freaked out and Cari decided to share one of the last secrets with Demus...

IC:

Cari wasn't sure how to start but she didn't have time to think as the shadow ripped reality from her and took over with ease. It was an odd sensation knowing that it was not out to kill this time. Something was different, something more respectful. It was strange to feel that from the shadow.

The shadow could feel Demus' pulse and fought the urge to bite and draw blood. It was hard to resist, but it was not there to extract revenge, but to get answers, answers it needed to insure it's own survival. "I am all that Cari is when she loses control. I'm the worse part of her and I'm also the strongest. You Lover could easily be prey as friend right now." The shadow licked the pulse in Demus' neck to add emphasis to what it was saying. "But today I'm not here for blood but for answers." It paused dramatically. "Can you do what you did again? Can you hurt Cari or even kill her if she loses control? If there is no other way. Will you protect her, her children and yourself from the evil things you know your lover her is capable of. Can you, Lover?"

Cari
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There was nothing in his experience to prepare him for what was happening. Nothing in Cari’s cryptic words or warnings had ever led him to expect this sort of reaction from her. He had hurt her and now something darker than he’d thought she was capable of was crawling around in her skin. It seemed appropriate because he felt the same of himself at the moment.

Before Nathan had thrown them in that room together, he would have thought he was incapable of hurting Cari. He cared too much about her and she had gone through too much to help him out for him to turn on her, but he knew better now. He didn’t want to hurt Cari no matter what the reason, but he could if he had to. He didn’t know what this creature wanted to hear from him so he went with the truth. “Yes, I would protect her and her kids. If there was no other way, yes, I would hurt her again to protect her and what she holds dear.” He waited then, tense and uncertain, with this new creature in his lap, hoping his friend and lover wasn’t listening in from somewhere within.

Demus Nolorean
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he shadow uncharacteristically placed a feirce kiss on Demus' lips. It was not meant to be pleasant and it was meant to be forceful, the shadow held the power and it would use it if it so desired, while it now respected Demus, it was not afraid of him and if it ever came down to the two of them it would be a battle of wills as well as strength. The shadow pushed Cari forward while they still kissed. Cari let the kiss turn tender and soft before breaking it and looking down at their laps to avoid eye contact. "That is the worst of it, but not the least of it. You've seen the weakest of us. There are three others that await to meet you." *I will not meet him!* Cari corrected her words. "There are three others, one will not meet you, she loves another and will not be tempted by your..." Cari looked up and smiled at Demus "sweet face and my desires for you. Her name is May and the best way to describe her is the person I would have been if I were not a warder or a darkfriend. Marosa will speak with you but beware, she enjoys hurting people for the sake of hurting them." While it was not the same as Cari's own desires to hurt people it was were it was based.

Marosa took over with ease as Cari let her into the conscious stream. "Well lover, I guess she didn't want me to scare you and warned you first. There is not much more here for me with that warning. I am the reason Cari is who she is. Everything about her is because of me." Another truth but not the complete truth, there was alot more to do with Cari and the way she is than Marosa. "I'm the reason she's a darkfriend, I'm the reason she has her first son, and probably her daughter, and I was the one who started seducing the twins father, though she was much more apart of that than I."

Marosa wanted to see how Demus would react he had a lot to react to, he was after all new to these personalities.

Cari
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Demus felt when the kiss changed, when it was no longer a thing of violence and was something softer. When Cari began talking he wanted to make her look up at him, but she was changing almost as soon as her words were done and there was someone new on his lap. He wanted to ask about this other personality and the person she loved, but it would have to wait as the new personality began talking.

He listened, unsure of what to say to such a person as Marosa. She seemed to take credit for much of Cari's life, though he wasn't sure he should trust anything these personalities said until he got to know more about them. Cari seemed to know about them and was willing to tell him something since she was showing them. He just hoped he'd be able to talk to her about it once this was done. "And what happens to Cari? Where is she while you sit here on my lap?" He asked her.

Demus Nolorean

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Marosa smiled. "She sits and listens. We sometimes talk about what is going on. But most of the time when she gives control she holds her tongue and keeps to the shadows. We aren't allowed such freedoms often." Marosa kissed him with a passion she enjoyed pushing on her victims. "She feels everything we do, as we all do. Even May takes pleasure in your body despite her love of another. Even little miss Kayla does. She does more so than even Cari herself at times. She's fallen in love with you, lover."

It wasn't so much a panic but Maros was pulled back from the conscious stream by Kayla. She was angry and the change was apparent on Cari's face as she yelled. "That's not for you to tell." It was not like Kayla to be forceful nor actually pull control away. This new found power was not a good thing, Cari would have to be careful. But the miniute of anger fled as she realized she'd spoke out loud. She looked down to hid her embarassement and not have to look at the man Marsoa had just claimed her love for. Kayla was a child, she did not know how to handle the powerful emotions that she held because of her counterpart personalities. She was a child but not. A tear fell, she was sure that this was the end, that he would not accept the fact that she loved him. Cari wasn't sure if this was going to work out, she truly did not want to lose Demus' friendship and whatever else they shared, but it was Kayla's turn to deal with it as May had had to do.

Cari
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He understood the words weren’t directed at him even though he was still trying to figure out what to do. Each of these personalities was Cari but not. What he had come to share with Cari they knew, but they hadn’t really been the ones he had shared it with. But they had. It was confusing to think of it and try to find a way through. And a confession of love from a personality within Cari was the oddest of all. He didn’t know how to handle that and though he could have thought Marosa was just trying to say something to hurt, Kayla’s reaction seemed to validate the words. She refused to look at him as well and that was never good when a woman wouldn’t meet your eyes. He pulled her chin up gently and saw the streak of tears and wiped it off gently. “Why do you cry?” He asked softly.

Demus

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Kayla wasn't sure how to answer. She kept her eyes looking down but Demus was insistant that she look up at him. Kayla didn't say anything she only shrugged her shoulders. Kayla was by far the shiest of the persona's residing inside of Cari's mind. Tell him something. [b]Yes something or he'll really leave you.]/b]

Kayla shook her head no in response to the voices in her head, and Demus gave her a worried glance. "It's okay to tell me." Kayla shook her head again. *Oh say something you little brat.* May's words drew an angry look on Cari's face. Demus tensed up but Kayla didn't know how to handle it and when she tugged at Cari to handle the problem Cari regretfull went. It would do no good to have Kayla mess up anything that she might have in the future with the man whose lap she sat.

Cari smiled at Demus and put her hands on his arms to ease his tension. "Kayla is afraid she'll lose you or mess up what we have. She won't speak to you know, she's upset and at us and at herself mostly." Cari put her head on Demus' shoulder and whispered into his ear. "She's been fawning after you for some time." Cari kissed his neck softly. "But she's not the reason I find you desirable and enjoy your company. We all have our own feelings and our own thoughts. Some of us don't share the same feelings, but we all care for those in our life."

Cari wasn't sure what Demus would do. She slipped off his lap to sit next to him grabbing the sheet to cover up most of her body with. She didn't do it because she was embarassed but she didn't want a serious conversation to lead into sex unless he really wanted it. They had both been through a lot and she wasn't sure if physical contact was something he wanted from her or to even consider it with her after what he'd done. "But none of us, and I do mean none of us hold the last days against you. You did what you had to and we know that. Even the darkest parts of my mind now respect you for what you did. It doesn't fear you but it will be warry of you from now on. I know you have questions, so ask them, Demus, don't hesitate on anything I will be free of tongue with you on this and all other things." She winked at him. "This chance may never come again." Cari laid back on the bed. Her body was becoming sour again from the torture and laying down seemed to help her muscles from aching so bad.

Cari

__________

Demus watched Cari, trying to see if there was something in the way she carried herself that differed from the others, something that would always let him know that it was she he was speaking with, but other than Kayla’s reluctance to look at him, he hadn’t had the others with him long enough to know anything like that yet. In time he might, but not yet. “You spoke of part of you being in love with someone else. A darkfriend or not? Who is he?”

He was a bit jealous about that revelation but it wasn’t jealousy that made him ask. Cari was far more complicated than he had ever known but she was a friend none the less. If part of her was in love with another though, that meant her little secrets were probably known to him as well and that could mean someone knocking on his door someday. It wasn’t a thought that he liked. If the man was a Darkfriend at least they had a common fight, but if it was a light friend who stumbled in and thought to free Cari from her troubles, it could mean trouble for them all. He thought Cari smarter than getting herself into something she couldn’t handle, but he needed reassurances that any ‘friends’ she had weren’t going to bring trouble down on him. Something else tickled his mind too, and though it wasn’t a matter of safety, it was a matter of curiosity that made him speak his question. “And who was it that decided to save me the day we met? You? Or some part of you looking to play?” He asked.



Demus Nolorean

___________


Cari smiled at his questions, he wasn't afraid of the answers. She
was glad he was asking, Yrean had not asked, he hadn't cared enough to
know the details and that worried her greatly. Any man who didn't
want to know who else he was sharing his lover with bothered Cari. It
wasn't natural to share, but Cari wanted to make sure that they both
understood that she liked both and that it was not a game she was
playing.

Cari sat up and kissed Demus' cheek. "I'll answer the second as it's
easier first. It was me and it wasn't a game, well not at first. You
looked like you needed help so I stepped in. If you were a light fool
so be it, but it turned out you were more of a friend than I could
ever ask for. But when you let me kiss you and flirt with you to
through the guards off of you it became a game. A game to see how far
you would go." She wasn't ashamed of her actions and she hoped he'd
not be offended but it was the truth and that was one thing she
promised to herself she would always be honest with Demus. He was the
one person who could know all and understand, even if he disagreed he
could know it all with out harm to either of them. "But as we
traveled together the game stopped being a game to see how far you
would go, and it turned into a friendship." Cari looked away as what
she was about to say wasn't something she really wanted him to know
but it was the truth. "A friendship that I want more out of, but I
will not pressure you for it. There are things about you, us that
bother my so-called morality."

Cari looked over at Demus, "Do not worry, it is not bad and it is not
something that can be changed." She grinned at him, "Unless you know a
way to age yourself or make me younger."

She let the information soak in but put a finger to his lips. "Let me
answer your first question before you speak. His name is Yrean. He
is a Tower Guard of the White Tower and a light fool who knows my job
of killing people. But he will never know I am what I am. I will not
turst another light fool lover to that knowledge. I will not risk
you, nor my friends, or his life on being completely honest with him.
If he came between the Great Lord and his plans then I would easily
and swiftly end his life to save that dear to me." Cari wasn't sure
if she could do the same for Demus' life. Their lives were on the
same path, the same direction, but if it was an order she would
blindly follow it. Demus would understand that at the very least, or
she hoped he would. "If it is too much for you, we can call whatever
we have quits, be only friends, or nothing at all, the choice is yours
Demus. You know how I feel know as much as it pains us to tell you,
but we, all of us will not pressure you nor will we presue you beyond
what you desire."

Cari

_____________

It was more of an answer that he had hoped for but troubling none the less for it. Cari became more and more complicated with each answer and they only raised more questions. He had no concerns about her playing a game with him since he had never really expected it had been otherwise at first. He was relieved to know that she enjoyed their friendship as much as he did and there was no reason to be concerned over that.



This Yrean fellow was something to worry about. A Tower Guard who knew she was an assassin, but not that she was a Dark Friend and yet he was still involved with her. He wasn’t sure he liked the man on that alone. Demus was true to his cause if nothing else and he questioned the man’s loyalties for what Cari had revealed. If his loyalities could be questioned, that means his feelings for Cari might be as well. It was her choice to make, but he would never trust the man if he ever met him. Not that it was likely to ever happen. He had no intention of visiting Tar Valon anytime soon.



All in all, the answers didn’t change anything though, no more than anything that had happened between them. He wanted Cari in his life, a million personalities or just one. The fact that he had helped to break a part of her just made him want to be there more for her to make up for that action. He would do it again if he had to, he knew that, but she understood, he thought. They were what they were and if orders came, he had no doubts that she would do the same to him if she had to. It was an understanding he was comfortable with, even if he hoped it never came to pass.



He cupped Cari’s face in his hands and smiled at her. “You have been too much for me to understand since I meet you Cari, but that doesn’t mean I will stop trying to.” He released her face then and leaned in slowly so she could back away if she wished. “Take what you want of me. What the Dark Lord does not claim of me, you can.”



Demus Nolorean

______________

Cari hadn't expected his words, she was glad for them, even more so
than when she'd realized she was in love with Alex. Here was a man
that followed the same path, could know the whole truth with out ever
compromising either of their lives for the sake of good or evil. He
was still too young, but if he was willing to accept that difference
than so would she. It was far easier for her to make this step with
Demus than with Yrean, there was so much to overcome there, she
wondered if this was the right thing to do. But her hearts were not
one and it was something she couldn't help. Cari knew that she'd
taken too long to respond with her own thoughts. She smiled at Demus
and leaned in to the kiss he was offering. It was soft and passionate
and almost filled with absolute love, but Cari was not ready to be
that far gone into another man. She couldn't love another like that
with out being absolutely positive, but Demus as always felt good.

Cari pulled out of the kiss first her face still lingering near his in
a caring caressing way. "Now what about those clothes?" She looked
up at him still inches away. "Unless you intend to take advantage of
my unclothed state." Cari leaned in again to kiss Demus. She wasn't
sure if they should go farther but hearts had been revealed and it was
hard not to want to be close to him at this time.

It is funny how things go from one extreme to another, but Cari knew
she should understand that with her voices in her head, but this was
not the same. She wondered what would come of this, of them, of her
life. But she would take whatever Demus offered her this day, and the
next until he was not willing to give any longer or either of them
were dead. This was an interesting beginning.

Cari
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